How to find the right therapist?
To reach the point of starting therapy is a major accomplishment. For many people, it can be a step that is contemplated for a long time. But once you make that decision, where do you start? How do you find someone? Finding the right therapist is the most important part of the process. All of the research tells us, the most impactful outcome of your time in therapy, depends on your relationship with your therapist.
I like to make 2 differentiations for my first time therapy clients. If you feel awkward or uncomfortable after your first few sessions, that’s normal. Starting therapy can be uncomfortable. Telling someone you just met thoughts and feelings about things you’ve never shared with anyone is going to provoke some uncomfortable feelings. When you’re uncomfortable, that means you’re doing something really brave.
Now, if you feel judged, disconnected, like you can’t be honest or share things with your therapist, that’s when it is not the right fit. It can be the wrong fit for lots of different reasons but what’s most important is listening to your gut if something doesn’t feel right. You know yourself best.
Okay. Now that we have that spiel defined let’s get into next steps and where to start.
You want to start asking your friends, family, primary care physician, co-workers, etc. if they have a referral. Good referral’s are key and recommended for any medical journey but especially therapy. Once you’ve reached out to the people in your life, whether they’ve given you names or not, go onto psychologytoday.com. Psychology Today is a directory for all Therapists. There are several filters that you can choose from that really narrow down what you’re looking for. Filters like insurance, location, treatment focus, you name it. Not only do I get inquiries for clients through Psychology Today, but it’s also how I found my own therapist.
The most important part in finding your right fit is not to give up. You will find someone who is your fit. It can feel discouraging when you don’t get that connection with who you are seeing but you will. If you are seeing someone who doesn't feel like a good fit, don’t be afraid to tell them you’re going to try another direction. As a Therapist, I can promise you it is our job to be broken up with. We know how important that connection and relationship is. Below I have shared some templates for you to use if you are emailing or calling looking for a therapist or if you want to stop seeing someone.
Hello,
My name is ___ and I am contacting you as a hopeful new client. I was given your contact information by ____ (or) I found your profile and contact information through Psychology Today and was hoping to schedule a consultation. I have been experiencing _____ symptoms for ____ (this amount of time). I look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you!
Hello,
After doing some reflecting on our last session, I have decided to begin looking for a new provider. I really enjoyed working with you and wish you all the best.
Thank you!
Or
Hello,
After doing some reflecting on our last session, I have decided to take a break from therapy. Thank you for your time.
Thank you!
